Ode to that most frustrating creature, the teenager who would rather freeze his bits off than wear a goddamn coat.
Teenagers everywhere
Freezing off their derriers.
Wear a fucking coat
It’s wintertime you dolt.
They are impervious to the cold
Until they get so old
Hoodies are not jackets
I’ve tried every kind of racket.
They don’t even care
As long as they have good hair
They don’t give a shit
About being frost bit.
This mom is wearing layers
But her boys are being players
Put on a fucking coat!
You are not a fluffy mountain goat.
You are a boy who this mom loves
And she worries because you won’t wear gloves
So please for the love of God
Put a fucking jacket on.