Was I ever whole?
I always feel like there are just frayed stitches barely holding me together, and one day the entire thing will completely fall apart.
I feel like I’ve wasted a lifetime in fruitless attempts to put myself in some kind of order, but my edges are still ragged and I’m covered in rips and tears and bits of glue.
Forever trying to gather the broken pieces of myself and reattach them in some semblance of a person, I sometimes think the messy repairs and faulty seams are all anyone can see.
I see a broken puppet, controlled by a broken puppeteer, trying to pretend that one day I will find the perfect pattern and, with clean, straight stitches, will sew myself up securely, and never be undone again.
We Don't Chew Glass 
December 12th, 2016 at 9:12 am
If it helps, you are not alone in feeling this. Also, I think there is great beauty in our brokenness. I think we are attracted to the frayed edges and cracks and chips.
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December 12th, 2016 at 9:14 am
Thanks babe. I was just screaming about you this morning. (I should just leave it at that. But I won’t.) I’ve GOT to stop reading your blog on my phone–I HATE commenting with my phone, it takes like 85 years. So just know I’m there, even when there’s no evidence. 🙂
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December 12th, 2016 at 7:08 pm
Great way to put that, “great beauty in our brokenness.” So true.
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December 12th, 2016 at 9:54 am
I suspect that, like most handmade projects, you are all the more beautiful for any flaws that might still be visible. 🙂
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December 12th, 2016 at 10:13 am
I love this. ❤
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December 12th, 2016 at 12:41 pm
Thank you for this eloquent piece. Your description reminds me of singer-songwriter Peter Mayer’s song “Japanese Bowl.” We are all broken, I think, but our cracks are filled with gold, and they gleam. Hang tough — total strangers are rooting for you!
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December 12th, 2016 at 2:14 pm
Thank you! I’ve heard of that song, and now that I think of it, another saying about the cracks let the light in. I swear, one day I’m going to print out my comments section and hang it where I can read it every day!
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December 12th, 2016 at 4:55 pm
And within the feelings of brokenness your heart, soul and genius show through!
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December 12th, 2016 at 6:16 pm
Thank you! ❤
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December 13th, 2016 at 8:45 pm
❤️.. & understood
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December 16th, 2016 at 7:53 am
Beautiful! Just like a patchwork quilt made with love. My entire blog is based on that quote you just mentioned. ‘blessed are the cracked for they let in the light’. Best thing I have ever done for myself was to redefine failure and own all my cracks. Good luck Missy, and Merry Christmas ❤
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December 16th, 2016 at 8:14 am
Some days I’m better at that than others. Oh! I just got it, “cracTpot.” Is that right?
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December 16th, 2016 at 9:10 am
That’s me 🙂
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