I went to the doctor this morning and she wants to give me some injections in my neck. There was a question of whether or not I wanted to be sedated. Silly question. I ALWAYS WANT TO BE SEDATED. In any given situation, I can pretty much guarantee you that I would rather be sedated. I have two teenagers. I’d like to be sedated for the next 6 to 13 years.
My neck has been giving me problems for years but now that I’m getting older it is getting worse. I know that it’s getting worse because I can feel it and I know that I’m getting older because my kids NEVER STOP MENTIONING IT.
My birthday is this month. Most days I feel about 80, 85, but I’m actually only going to be 35.
Only.
My family and I saw an old friend of mine the other day and Thing 2 couldn’t wait to say, “I can’t believe you guys went to school with her! She looks so much younger than you!”
No, I didn’t smack him but I thought about it.
Then today we ran into another old friend and here he goes again. This time he says, “How come everyone you went to school with looks younger or older than you?” Um, because they have to be one of the two? Knowing I wasn’t going to like the answer, I asked the question anyway.
Then this happened.
This was a full cup of chocolate milk.
How I managed to do that, I will probably never know, but I do know that 20 ounces of chocolate milk can cover a lot of territory in a car and it’s very, very sticky.
Since my birthday is coming up, my husband has been giving me little gifts all month long. (I KNOW, RIGHT?) This was his latest and I absolutely love it for so many reasons. It is warm and cozy. It has pockets. It has a hood. And it embarrasses the crap out of my kids who deserve it because they keep calling me old.
Is there a better gift in this world than a bright blue adult onesie WITH POCKETS? No. No, there is not.
We Don't Chew Glass 
November 10th, 2014 at 6:45 pm
I have asked for a onesie for Christmas just for the embarrassingness of it (sure, that’s a word). Now I need to revise to add pockets. Your husband rocks!
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November 10th, 2014 at 6:55 pm
Yes! Pockets! And he really is the greatest. I hope you get one too!
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November 10th, 2014 at 6:49 pm
Onesies rule! My teenagers (I have 4…count ’em…4! ikr, wt-actual-f were we thinking?) They bought me a Cookie Monster onesie and they thought they were pretty damn funny till “I put it on and wandered about a bit.
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November 10th, 2014 at 6:56 pm
That’ll teach them! And what the actual F WERE you thinking?! My two are *killing* me with their teenagery shit.
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November 10th, 2014 at 6:59 pm
http://shedreflections.com/2014/09/08/fathers-day-isnt-really-my-bag/…I threatened them with following them around the shopping mall…haaaa!
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November 11th, 2014 at 7:06 am
OH MY GOD THAT IS SO CUTE!
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November 11th, 2014 at 7:07 am
Haaaaa!
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November 10th, 2014 at 6:52 pm
Lol, I am planning on getting my wife a onesie for Christmas (she is always cold). Of course since we live in the South, it will be in pink camo.
As far as age goes, it’s only a number. You are only add old as you feel!
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November 10th, 2014 at 6:58 pm
Onesies for everybody! I’m always cold too. Great gift idea – I bet she loves it.
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November 10th, 2014 at 7:10 pm
Is that a real life Snuggy?
ps – I’m older than you and I think I totally look it 😉
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November 11th, 2014 at 7:07 am
Yes! It’s like a snuggy you could wear to the grocery store. Poo on getting old and looking it!
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November 10th, 2014 at 7:11 pm
have you met kids? id much rather be old these days….maybe old sans neck injections.
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November 11th, 2014 at 7:09 am
Yeah, we watched a basketball game the other day and I was like, “I am so glad I’m not young and awkward.” Then I realized that I am old and awkward which is probably just as bad but without middle school so I win.
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November 10th, 2014 at 7:20 pm
Does t make you feel any better that you are only a few years older than our oldest child?
I didn’t want to get older. And then I stopped worrying about it..and then I started digging it.
Maybe you will too.
In any case…I adore you.
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November 11th, 2014 at 7:10 am
I adore you too Michelle! I’m not *too* worried about it. I’m too busy worrying about realistic things like what a dead weight I would be in the apocalypse.
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November 12th, 2014 at 6:36 pm
I’m around Michelle’s age–ah, to be 35 again! AND I have teenagers. Anyway, my husband and I both have health problems and our whole family is into the Walking Dead (as I know you are). My 15-year-old daughter was imagining what it would be like for us if there were an apocalypse, and she asked us if we’d like her to shoot us in the head (so that we wouldn’t turn) before she and her brother took off. Obviously we were a little taken aback by her cold practicality. When we said so she said “Well, Mom wouldn’t be able to run fast enough and Dad would die in a few days without his insulin anyway.” Sheesh! Hope you have a nice birthday! xoxo
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November 12th, 2014 at 6:41 pm
How funny – and a little alarming! I do love The Walking Dead, but it does make me realize how helpless I would really be. And I don’t like that at all. Thanks for the birthday wishes and here’s to civilization standing just a little bit longer!
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November 11th, 2014 at 1:22 am
Adult onesies are quite possibly the best invention in the universe.
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November 11th, 2014 at 7:10 am
Agreed.
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November 11th, 2014 at 4:29 am
Optional sedation for the entire duration of teenage years sounds ideal to me! Either them or me, I don’t mind, although tbh, I could do with the sleep.
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November 11th, 2014 at 7:11 am
Right? It’s a great idea. I don’t know why it’s not a thing.
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November 11th, 2014 at 9:10 am
Onesies seem like they would be pretty hard to get on and off.
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November 11th, 2014 at 11:44 am
The only thing that would make this fleece wonder better would be a flap in the back.
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November 11th, 2014 at 12:14 pm
Plop!
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November 11th, 2014 at 9:13 am
My wife is a big believer in the adult onesie. She says it is the most comfortable thing in the w
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November 11th, 2014 at 9:15 am
I’m getting old, too, apparently, for I don’t know how a blog comment section works.
Be as old as you wanna be, my friend.
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November 11th, 2014 at 11:46 am
HA! Your wife is right. And I think I’m the age I want to be…old enough to see the stupidity of my youth and young enough to repeat it sometimes anyway.
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November 11th, 2014 at 11:44 am
Its funny to hear a 35 year old call herself old, but everything’s relative. I wish I was as together as you at your age, but we all bloom in our own time. Nice post.
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November 11th, 2014 at 9:36 pm
YOU THINK I HAVE MY SHIT TOGETHER? That right there is a miracle and I thank you.
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November 11th, 2014 at 7:27 pm
I’ve often found myself clenching my fists when discussing my age or otherwise facing the reality that things are sagging, spots are forming, and joints are aching. It’s clear to me that you just had one of these involuntary spasms while holding your cup of chocolate milk
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November 11th, 2014 at 9:36 pm
I think that is exactly what happened.
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November 11th, 2014 at 9:19 pm
35 with teenagers is nothing! I turned 34 this year and my oldest isn’t even 4 yet….imagine what they will think about me in 9 years?!
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November 11th, 2014 at 9:37 pm
Imagine what they will *say* to you in nine years!
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November 12th, 2014 at 12:20 pm
Too funny! Sorry about the choco milk though, that’s always a pain!
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November 12th, 2014 at 3:57 pm
Thanks! It was definitely a mess.
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November 13th, 2014 at 7:16 pm
It needs footies. THEN it would be perfect.
p.s. Your husband rocks.
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November 14th, 2014 at 10:33 am
Footies would be nice. And I agree, he does rock. 🙂
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November 15th, 2014 at 8:55 am
ooo it’s like a human-sized TARDIS! And I will chime in with the “you don’t look old!” crew. Just remind your kids that THEY are the ones making you age…little vampires
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November 15th, 2014 at 10:40 am
THEY ARE LITTLE VAMPIRES! Sucking the life right out of me.
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