Yes, I know it’s not Tuesday, but Search Term Tuesday just has a special ring to it.
Sometimes I like to look at the searches that lead people to my blog. People go to Google with serious questions, and Google sends them here where there are no answers. It is sometimes sad and always bizarre. Here are my top ten favorite searches.
1. Grandmother I’ve pissed myself on purpose – I’m trying to decide who peed. Did grandma pee? Are you trying to figure out how to tell grandma you peed? Commas are important, people.
2.Peeing on myself in the store – obviously, I need to stop talking about pee so much. Google apparently thinks I’ve cornered the market on accidents.
3. How husbands fuck a maid – I’m guessing the regular way? I’m sorry I couldn’t be more help.
4. Walmart fight I’m next in line – We all know Walmart is a dangerous place.
5. I peed – And we’re back to the pee.
6. Crap my mom says – Now this actually makes a little sense. If it was one of my children.
7. I pick up hookers tee shirts – I PICKED UP ONE HOOKER! ONE!
8. Free sex stories of my mom fucked my pet snake – I don’t even.
9. I saw my husband fucking our maid and I did tell them – I feel like my maid story was not helpful to you. Again, my apologies.
10. Why Doberman hump strangers – A question for the ages. Actually, according to my commenters, it’s a dominance thing. You are that dog’s bitch.
What’s the weirdest place Google has led you? Have you ever searched for something just knowing the results were going to be awful? Do you think Grandma peed or what? Let’s not ever speak of the snake one, ever again.