Once upon a time in a land far away, my house was always clean and I was always bathed.
Every little thing was in its special place; sometimes I got frisky and even washed the drapes!
Then I had three children and got a full-time job; I’m not sure how it happened, but suddenly I’m a slob.
Clothes are piled everywhere, the dirty and the clean; Christ, half the time this place looks like a crime scene.
The kids are running wild and the cat just puked on the carpet; I’ve lost all my patience and am reduced to screaming “PARK IT!”
The trash is everywhere and always overflowing and this damned winter weather just won’t stop with all the snowing!
The dishwasher stopped washing and now it’s only leaking; I’m thinking this might be a good time to take up drinking.
I thought I told you not to eat that off the floor! The five second rule DOES NOT apply here anymore.