As you know, assuming you’ve been reading this blog religiously, as you should be, I have been going through some dietary changes. I’m going to refer to this as the Foodpocalypse. Because it fucking sucks and, also, because I can.
Anyway. I’ve been looking at apps on my phone to help me determine just what the fuck is in the food I eat, in an effort to stay alive and not be so damn hungry.
In my app search I have NOT found anything useful. I have found some very disturbing apps which I am going to list here, because I am bored good at sharing.
1. Massager. By Hooha. I don’t think I need to explain this one.
2. How To Get Pregnant (Here’s a tip, if you’re using your phone on your hooha, you’re doing it wrong.)
3. Am I Fat? Seriously? You need an app for that?
4. App of Death “The test performed does not indicate that you’ll die…it’s just a prediction….stay calm.” O-kay.
5. How to Grow Taller This one is by the same person who also knows How to French Kiss, How to be a Hipster, and also How to Call in Sick. A certifiable very knowledgeable person, this one.
Gotta run. App of Death just finished downloading, so I may or may not be back later.