There’s an app for that….

As you know, assuming you’ve been reading this blog religiously, as you should be, I have been going through some dietary changes.  I’m going to refer to this as the Foodpocalypse.  Because it fucking sucks and, also, because I can.

Anyway.  I’ve been looking at apps on my phone to help me determine just what the fuck is in the food I eat, in an effort to stay alive and not be so damn hungry.

In my app search I have NOT found anything useful.  I have found some very disturbing apps which I am going to list here, because I am bored good at sharing.

1.  Massager.  By Hooha.  I don’t think I need to explain this one.

2.  How To Get Pregnant (Here’s a tip, if you’re using your phone on your hooha, you’re doing it wrong.)

3.  Am I Fat?  Seriously?  You need an app for that?

4.  App of Death “The test performed does not indicate that you’ll die…it’s just a prediction….stay calm.”  O-kay.

5.  How to Grow Taller  This one is by the same person who also knows How to French Kiss, How to be a Hipster, and also How to Call in Sick.  A certifiable very knowledgeable person, this one.

Gotta run.  App of Death just finished downloading, so I may or may not be back later.