We had family game night last night. I didn’t want to, because I had a ton of work, as I explained to my ungrateful children.
Me: Can’t. I have a ton of work and I don’t want to be up all night trying to catch up.
Thing 2: OMG ( actually saying Oh Em Gee), mom, why didn’t you get your work done this morning?
Me: Oh Em Gee! Because I was too busy twiddling my thumbs and smoking crack. I have been working ALL DAY!
Thing 1: Where are you going? It’s time to play a game. No. If you don’t have time to play a game with us, then you don’t have time for that. (Physically blocking my speedy exit, because the little shit is bigger than me. Uncool.)
Me: Alright, fine, I’ll finish my work and then we’ll play.
After much debate between my husband and two sons, they picked Cranium, which is actually pretty fun. Kind of like a Pictionary/word game/scavenger hunt/thing. With kids.
It went pretty well. My oldest and I were on a team against my husband and Thing 2. We totally stomped them. So much so that during the second game, my husband started saying “nipple” when it was our turn, to distract us. It worked. A teenager cannot focus on the task at hand (or stop laughing) when he hears the word “nipple.”
Turns out, neither can I.
We Don't Chew Glass 
Respond to this lunacy here.