…definitely, the eclipse, moon, planets, comets, asteroids, ghosts, spirits, spirit animals, trees, flowers, grass, rocks, mountains, rivers, sandy red clay, sky, sun, clouds, rays of sunlight, Mother Earth, Gaia, Mother Eureka, Ozark Dreamland, the collective consciousness of all people everywhere, the specific consciousness of the people, places, and things nearest to me, and everything all around and under all of us, affects the way I feel and how I process things and what I can do, that’s for sure. Oh, also where I am in my monthly cycle, if I’ve taken my meds, if it is too hot or too cold or too sneezy or too itchy or too ticky or too touristy, if I’ve slept okay, if I’ve eaten and how is my stomach? Am I bloated, do my pants fit, when did I cry last? Does he really love me? For fuckssake, you may as well think so until you can’t anymore! You’re obviously fucking doing this and it’s obviously gonna hurt but it’s not like you’ll listen to reason!

As a general rule, no, I’m probably not picking up what you’re putting down unless you are also like this, in which case THANK FUCK, JUST BE COOL. Works for me! I think it’s probably a really good thing that I mostly only talk to people I feel safe with; even if one of the four of them got super out there, it wouldn’t be outthere-outthere, you know? That makes me wonder why I would be “afraid” of being around other maybe not-so-known-therefore-not-as-safe people and I got nothing, because, in this moment, I don’t feel like I would have to be any way other than dressed (no cleavage, definitely bra or a sweater/coat, no shorts!, no yoga pants, omg all my jeans are so tight!) (yoga pants and crop top rn so I guess maybe there’d be preparation involved (thanks trauma!) and like, distaste, for having to make myself palatable at all fucking YES, I DO, I NEED ALL THESE KNIVES and this is where calling cards would come in. You’d leave your card if I was…INDISPOSED! I never remember that word when I need it. But yeah, I’ll see you when I’m more disposed.