Well, I survived another Halloween. In protest, I attended two fall festivals sans makeup and hair styling. I thought if anyone asked I would say I was dressed as a frazzled mother with too many festivals to attend, but no one asked. I did however get mistaken for a sorority sister. That makes me think that the girls who hosted the festival must be heavy partiers and are often seen about town looking next-morning-rough.
In other news, my family has come through for you guys yet again, by way of constantly harassing me and giving me grief.
I tried to tell my son that I was funny and he didn’t believe me.
Me: I have over 2000 followers on my blog.
Thing 2: Stop it. You do not.
Me: Yes. Yes I do. Because people think I’m funny.
Thing 2: The funniest thing you ever said to me is what you just said.
My husband and I were discussing handwriting analysis.
Me: According to my handwriting, I have about five different personalities.
Him: I think at least two of them don’t like me.
Me: *chortles* I have to write that down!
Him: I like how I gave you ample time to dispute that, but you didn’t.
Me: …cause I think you’re right.
Trying to convince my oldest son that I am the coolest mom he knows.
Me: I’m awesome and you know it!
Thing 1: Yeah, if by “awesome” you mean “hard to love.”
We Don't Chew Glass 
November 3rd, 2014 at 9:01 am
HAHAHAH…man..kids are great, right? My son pats me on the head a lot like I’m old and feeble. Which, honestly, is kind of fair.
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November 4th, 2014 at 7:18 am
They are! And I get the head pat too, and feel the same way about it.
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November 3rd, 2014 at 10:15 am
My son just tells me I’m weird. Which is pretty much true. I know–my kids don’t believe I’m funny either. But every now and then I think, “What if they’re right?” and then I remind myself that their idea of sophisticated humor is making armpit fart noises and blaming the dog, so what do they know?
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November 4th, 2014 at 7:19 am
My kids think I’m weird too. But I kind of am, so…
They *say* they don’t think I’m funny, but they are laughing so I don’t believe them. I’m raising little liars.
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November 3rd, 2014 at 11:20 am
Your kids are hilarious. They must get it from their father…
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November 4th, 2014 at 7:19 am
I literally laughed out loud. Thanks, turd.
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November 4th, 2014 at 7:23 am
😉
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November 3rd, 2014 at 12:41 pm
Kids eh? Mine are always dispensing “wisdom” too 😱
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November 4th, 2014 at 7:20 am
Little goofballs.
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November 3rd, 2014 at 3:43 pm
LOL – love the things your kids (and husband) say !!!
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November 4th, 2014 at 7:20 am
Thanks! So do I! (Most of the time.)
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November 3rd, 2014 at 4:20 pm
It might be time to expand your blog into a full blown sitcom, you’re lot are funnier than the Cosbys
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November 4th, 2014 at 7:22 am
Thanks! I love them. I’m not going to tell them you said that, but I love them, lol.
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November 3rd, 2014 at 11:46 pm
hehehehe. See, this is why I went the aunt route and skipped the whole parent thing (well, except for my cat, who totally acts like a kid sometimes, but without the desire for expensive electronics). See, as the aunt, I can totally convince my nieces and nephews that I’m awesome! In fact, the general consensus is that I rule and such. lol
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November 4th, 2014 at 7:22 am
My husband has convinced my nieces and nephew to refer to him as Uncle Thunder. It’s ridiculous and I’m so jealous that I didn’t think up a cool aunt name.
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November 4th, 2014 at 10:21 pm
Auntie Awesome? Aunt Ass-kicker? Auntimazing? Aunt Awe-inspiring Ruler Of All That Is Awesome? That last one kinda has a ring to it, don’t you think? 🙂
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November 4th, 2014 at 10:57 am
Woo. Those kids are harsh. And you can tell ’em to suck it. You are damn funny!
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November 4th, 2014 at 5:23 pm
You’re back! Awesome! And thank you. 🙂
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November 4th, 2014 at 5:32 pm
I am! Come visit. I’ll bake scones.
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November 5th, 2014 at 9:02 am
Ha! your son is funny. He must take after you.
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November 5th, 2014 at 4:12 pm
He’s a hoot, and thank you!
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November 5th, 2014 at 9:59 am
I’m glad my kids are still little…here’s my favorite from my son lately. Somewhere along the way he picked up the phrase “Master of Disaster” and has been bestowing this title upon everyone. However, the other day he says, “Mom, you are the Master and Dad is the Disaster.” Thank you son, for making sure at least one man in this house realizes who is in charge….hahahaha! But not really. 😦
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November 5th, 2014 at 4:13 pm
YES! You have taught him well.
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November 5th, 2014 at 11:50 am
Those are funny!!
,
i just remind my kids that, “HELLO. WE had Cyndi Lauper, Madonna, AND Ferris Beuller. We pretty much INVENTED cool. And I totally saw that *eye roll*.”
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November 5th, 2014 at 4:13 pm
Did they even know who you were talking about? We have that problem here.
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December 13th, 2016 at 9:44 pm
yep, handwriting analyzed.. 4 personalities in like 1 sentence. no denial here
btw: ive probably read & posted on all of these but i dont remember anything ever, so its all new & funny again
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December 14th, 2016 at 5:21 am
Bahahaha, I was thinking that! But I can’t remember either, so it’s all new to both of us!
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December 14th, 2016 at 5:22 am
Bahahaha! I was thinking that! But I don’t remember either, so it’s new to both of us!
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