Shit My Family Says, Part 5

Things are getting back to normal here in my neck of the woods. By “normal”, I mean that the kids are wise cracking and the cat is showing her contempt for us all by shitting in the floor next to the litter box.  Life is good, if a bit smelly.



 

Thing 3: Momma, I love you and you make the best food ever.

Thing 1: Mom, I love you, but that’s a little extreme. Let’s not go overboard here.


*dying elephant sounds coming from bedroom at 9 pm*

Thing 2: What? I need to practice.

Me: *Facepalm* I’m so glad we bought that trombone. So, so glad.


Me:  Wow, I just spent 5o bucks at the drug store.

Thing 2:  There goes 50 dollars you could’ve spent on a video game.

He’s all up in my business trying to get me to cave on my No-Grand-Theft-Auto-Rule.  I don’t think he understood my laughter, but I just found it hilarious that he wanted me to spend my money on digital hookers and blow and I spent it on real drugs instead.


Thing 3:  Let’s pretend I have a pecker.

After I got done dying, I realized that the word she really wanted was “beak” because she was pretending to be a chicken, not a boy.


 

Peckers, beaks, whatever.

Peckers, beaks, whatever.

 

Does your family drive you crazy crack you up? What’s the funniest thing you’ve heard a kid say? Have you ever pretended to have a pecker? Don’t answer that last one.

About Steph

I like words. I suspect I would like sanity, but I really have no way of knowing. I can be reasonable, but not often. View all posts by Steph

39 responses to “Shit My Family Says, Part 5

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