The title is a little misleading. Mostly because it is not Tuesday, but partly because I don’t intend to make this a habit.
These are some things that people searched for on the internet. Google,in their infinite wisdom, led them to me.
Now, you might assume that someone searching for “woman who doesn’t chew” or “do not eat glass” or “HYSTERICALLY FUNNY BLOG” would find their way here.
No. Not so much.
Instead, people search for things like this:
norman reedus chewing — I’m sure those people were very disappointed to find me. Or maybe not. Norman and I are super tight.
when to go to emergency room iud — Oh, shit. I should probably say that I am not qualified to dispense medical advice. I can’t even pee right.
degenerate glass monkey — You mean this pervert?
there is no life before coffee cat — Hm. True, but not true. Maybe this? I agree about the coffee, but I don’t know where my cat’s asshole comes into it.
dark face doberman — I am just so sorry that brought you to this post about being ear-raped by a dog. So, so sorry.
my grandmas dresser drawers — You may not have intended too, but you ended up at one of my best posts.
joke on “i’ll take it from here.” — Me bragging about my best post. Probably not what you wanted, but Charlie Sheen makes everyone happy.
I hope you enjoyed the first and final installment of Search Term Tuesday. I’ll probably be back around the weekend with stories about the zoo, hotel swimming pools, and road trips with a family of five. Got any tips? I need all the help I can get. I know Angelle advises carrying a bedpan for emergencies.
We Don't Chew Glass 
June 9th, 2014 at 5:54 pm
Okay…I love this and I’m stealing it. Not the searches, I have my own. The title…
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June 9th, 2014 at 6:11 pm
Steal away. Maybe I just started a “thing!” I’m a thing starter!
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June 9th, 2014 at 6:47 pm
You ARE a thing starter!!
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June 9th, 2014 at 8:41 pm
One day — maybe far in the future — I may have enough search terms to do a post like this. So far, most of my search terms are boring — or people looking for groping strangers. Apparently there are a lot of people out there who are WAY too interested in groping strangers.
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June 10th, 2014 at 8:25 pm
Ha! These were my first search terms. I was so weirdly excited.
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June 10th, 2014 at 7:29 am
The search terms drive me nuts. I mean, we have this vast information super highway, and THIS is what people do with it? Sigh…
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June 10th, 2014 at 8:28 pm
I think they are hilarious though. And I ain’t knocking it if it sends people here, lol. Did you see that list The Bloggess posted the other day? Even better.
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June 11th, 2014 at 6:04 am
No, I missed that one. Most of the ones I get make SOME sense, but not all of them. Admittedly, I haven’t looked at mine in a while so maybe I should…
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June 12th, 2014 at 9:53 am
I don’t know if I already said this, but those were my first ones. I must be tagging better. Or talking about sex more. Dunno. And yes, you should, cause I wanna know!
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June 12th, 2014 at 9:57 am
Lol
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June 10th, 2014 at 8:46 am
This was a nice trip down glass chewing memory lane!
That said, I didn’t need to reread the freakishly large animal testicle story. Just sayin’.
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June 10th, 2014 at 8:29 pm
Oh, sure you did! Bahahaha…..
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June 11th, 2014 at 12:41 pm
More search terms!
And as far as road trip advice, have you tried doing drugs? It works for me.
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June 12th, 2014 at 9:55 am
Hahaha. Yes. And I was highly medicated for the entire trip. Good thing Husband drove, and thank God for pharmaceuticals!
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June 13th, 2014 at 12:37 pm
If you could tell Norman I said hi, that would be great! this is great
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June 13th, 2014 at 4:12 pm
Hahaha! I would love to. And thank you!
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June 13th, 2014 at 1:33 pm
Dear God … I peed my pants!
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June 13th, 2014 at 4:13 pm
I am sorry and not sorry to hear that, lol!
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June 13th, 2014 at 9:45 pm
I think you brought a whole new meaning to the term chew glass! Ha! Those were hilarious!
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June 14th, 2014 at 1:40 pm
Lol! Thanks Lisa!
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