I’m not very good at anything that has to do with people. As my son just pointed out yesterday, if you have to argue that you are not that awkward, then you probably are.
A couple of years ago, my husband and I and some friends went to Texas Frightmare Weekend. It’s this awesome horror convention and if you haven’t been, you should definitely go. I mean, if you like zombies. Or porn. Or zombie porn. We had a booth to sell t-shirts so it was kind of an awesome vacation/work trip.
Shameless Self Promotion
I was super excited because Norman Reedus and Michael Rooker were there. DARYL AND MERLE DIXON, YOU GUYS! And don’t even get me started on Boondock Saints, or I might not stop.
So anyway, we drove like six or eight hours to get there, and then set up and wandered around and worked some and I, of course, eyeballed the long line forming at Norman’s table. The line where people were paying 30 bucks for a picture and an autograph. My husband was not having any part of me paying money for a picture before we’d even made any money. So I did the next best thing, made a new friend, and headed up to the room to drink.
I’d only been gone about 3 shots of whiskey 30 minutes when my brother-in-law called me. “Norman Reedus wants a shirt. Get your ass down here if you want to give it to him.”
Say whaaa? From this point on, I mainly only spoke in squeaks. It seems that Mr. Reedus saw one of the guys go by wearing an awesome shirt (see my adorable husband above. That shirt.) and he asked for one. And because the guys LOVE me, they let me deliver it.
Now, my husband was no doubt thinking how AWESOME it was that Norman liked his design, and how GREAT it would be to have his picture on our website with one of our shirts!
Does this really need a caption?
I was thinking, “Sqweeeee! OMG! EEEEK! DARYL!”
So I take the shirt to him, and he was very, very nice and gave me a lovely hug, and even held the shirt up to himself, presumably so I could take a picture. This is the picture I got:
This is not exactly what my husband was looking for.
In my defense, the shirt is in the picture. See it? It’s right there, clenched in my fist. I promise it’s there. (If you ever see Norman Reedus wearing a shirt with two fish on it, I need a picture of that real, real bad.)
The fun didn’t end there. Oh no, I was just getting started. After babbling something incomprehensible about “the stupid fucking rope,” I made my way back to our booth.
For some reason, my husband left me in charge; I don’t know, I guess because I had shown such stellar marketing skills thus far. So there I sit, a little drunk, a lot happy, just watching the madness that is a horror convention, when who walks up to our booth but MERLE.
Much cleaner and less murdery in real life.
I shit you not. I was kind of scared, but I couldn’t stop grinning like a damn fool, and he was grinning back, and I knew I should say something, but I swear I just squeaked. Again. Then I said, “Ummm…doyouwannasticker?” He accepted it very graciously. Do you remember that scene in dirty dancing where Baby says, “I carried a watermelon”? It was just like that, only with a bloody zombie sticker.
So, anyway, my husband is totally going to put me in charge of promotions and customer service. Because I am really not that awkward.
We Don't Chew Glass 
February 12th, 2014 at 3:39 pm
OMG..so jealous..so very very jealous. And we could make a night of talking about Boondock Saints. I adore that movie…
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February 12th, 2014 at 3:55 pm
Right?! Those were the good days. Of course you adore that movie! I knew I liked you!
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February 12th, 2014 at 8:25 pm
Love Boondock Saints. I think I would be so excitedly incoherent if I ever met Stephen King. He is the only one for me.
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February 12th, 2014 at 8:46 pm
Yay, another Saints fan! I never really thought I’d be so silly…shy, yes, quiet, maybe, obnoxious, potentially….but squeaky? I just didn’t see that one coming.
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February 13th, 2014 at 8:43 am
Zombie porn! Now watch the hits roll in…after Google assimilates this page.
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February 13th, 2014 at 11:53 am
I know what those words mean, but I don’t know what those words mean. You know what I mean?
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February 13th, 2014 at 11:54 am
You mean that you do know that you don’t know what those words mean and expect me to understand that you mean what you don’t mean about what you mean.
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February 13th, 2014 at 11:57 am
That’s what I mean. I think.
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February 13th, 2014 at 11:57 am
Good. I’m glad we understand each other. For now.
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February 14th, 2014 at 12:02 pm
Merle and Daryl? You aren’t the only one. That is why the internet coined the term fangirling! It is totally acceptable behavior.
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February 14th, 2014 at 1:52 pm
Oh dear, I’m a fangirl? Lol! I would like to say I would behave with more decorum should there ever be a next time, but that would just be a lie. 😉
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February 14th, 2014 at 1:09 pm
How fun! It’s wonderful when people whose work you admire are nice in real life.
Something similar happened to me with Jess Harnell, the voice of Wakko Warner. I was SO EXCITED to meet Wakko’s voice, but I was sick that weekend and I’m awkward to begin with. He was super nice, though, so no harm! He also took a “creepy face” (a.k.a. “look as ugly as you can”) picture with me. It was awesome. I posted it here: http://creepyfaceaday.tumblr.com/post/67341434455/hello-nurse
That is one of my crowning achievements in life. A creepy face picture with WAKKO FREAKING WARNER.
(Hopefully I didn’t come across too shamelessly there. I’m just so damn proud of that picture.)
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February 14th, 2014 at 1:57 pm
Wow, yes, those are definitely “creepy” faces! And there’s just no such thing as too shameless around here. I love for people to come be a mess with me!
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February 24th, 2016 at 3:57 pm
Awesome! I am so jealous. In the picture with him it looked to me at first like the shirt is a fist punch with red lines coming out to depict the violence of it. There should be a shirt like that except that it would invite people to punch the wearer. In closing, I also have a crush on Norman Reedus and I suspect I could out-awkward you. May we one day have reason to fight that out and embarrass ourselves in front of Norman Reedus together.
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March 7th, 2016 at 2:31 pm
That would be The Best Day Ever.
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