As I’ve displayed my Freshly Pressed badge so prominently (to the right, if you hadn’t noticed) I’m sure you’re all aware that My Grandma’s Room was an editor’s pick this week.
Normally, I’d make a self-deprecating joke here, but unlike the majority of my posts, that one was really heartfelt and I’ve been crying all day wishing I could tell my Pop that I Won The Internet, so that he in turn could regale everyone he met with stories of my Writing Prowess, Innate Wisdom, and General Success At Life. All of these tales would be highly embellished, and neither of us would care.
Instead, I will tell you how I became all Writerly and Such. It’s an inspiring story, I’m sure. *insert hysterical laughter*
I’ve been a huge reader all my life, and last year I started re-collecting all my childhood favorites, like Anne of Green Gables, Little House on the Prairie, and Nancy Drew.
Much like Anne Shirley, I was a pain in the ass as a child. I was overly dramatic, I sometimes lied (confession: It was me that cut the hair off all my Barbie dolls. I cannot and could not ever play the banjo and I never wrote a song called Eagle. Also, I’m ashamed that I didn’t come up with a better name for my song which didn’t exist.), I liked to read more than play, and I was bossy as all hell.
I haven’t changed much.
Anyway. In the third grade I started a newspaper for the kids on my block and sold copies for 5 cents a piece. It wasn’t a particularly long-running endeavor, mainly because as Head Writer, Editor, Copy Maker, and Boss Lady, I was too good to hawk my own wares on the corner and my friends grew tired of it quickly once they realized they weren’t getting paid. Nine year olds have no work ethic anymore. Especially for unpaid labor.
My next brush with fame came in the fifth grade. On the same day that I opened a package of gum and won ten dollars, I also won 3rd place in a statewide essay contest. Best. Day. Ever!
I don’t remember what the essay was about, but I do remember that I got to meet Bill Clinton (just the Governor then, not the President, although I’m sure I probably had something to do with his election).
Also, they served really disgusting food at the banquet.
Not too long after that I tried my hand at fiction, penning The Big Black Bucket, which was a story about chickens living on a farm and plotting their escape.
Yeah. Let that sink in for a minute.
Those Chicken Run assholes. I wrote it first, dicks.
Fast forward through years of bad poetry, bad decisions, and one too many people saying, rather accusingly, “But you’re so funny on Facebook…” and here I am, reading lots of awesome blogs, writing nonsense, and enjoying myself immensely. THANK YOU!!
Please stop me if I start referencing tiger blood, in any way, shape, or form. Thanks, guys.
January 21st, 2014 at 8:46 am
You are killing me! Love! Winning, I think yes!
January 21st, 2014 at 8:52 am
HA! Thanks Becca!
January 21st, 2014 at 12:06 pm
You are now the ONE and ONLY Blog post that I follow!! How is that for Validation!!! LOL
January 21st, 2014 at 12:49 pm
Super cool and totally awesome! (I just high-fived myself.) If you are only going to read one, then of course, it has to be mine. 🙂
January 21st, 2014 at 7:57 pm
I would have totally seen The Big Black Bucket had you not been robbed by the Chicken Run folk. Congrats for being the editor’s pick!
January 21st, 2014 at 8:27 pm
Ha! Thanks Jana! With a title like that, how could you resist? 😉
January 21st, 2014 at 9:24 pm
Hahaha there’s soo much personality in this post the chicken run statement made me laugh
January 21st, 2014 at 9:28 pm
Good! Lol. Thanks.
January 22nd, 2014 at 4:40 pm
Shameless self promotion! I love it! Congratulations ;D
Founder & CEO of Connect-the-Cloths
A stylist, foodie, & writer's blog in development.
January 22nd, 2014 at 4:44 pm
Yep, yep! Lol. Thanks!
January 23rd, 2014 at 7:45 pm
I dunno…I say grab the tiger’s blood by the tail.
January 23rd, 2014 at 8:14 pm
(as you should be.)
(Kidding! I’m kidding.)
January 26th, 2014 at 3:02 pm
Huzzah! That is awesome that you were Freshly Pressed! Somehow I missed this. I love the recap of your writerlyness. Aaahhh I LOVED Anne of Green Gables when I was younger. She was my bosom buddy.
January 26th, 2014 at 6:04 pm
Probably because I’m so modest. HA! And huzzah to you too! I knew you were Freshly Pressed cause I accidentally subscribed to comments on that post so I’ve been notified for each and every one of your 400 +some comments. Another Anne of Green Gables fan – I knew we were kindred spirits!
January 26th, 2014 at 6:56 pm
Ooooh no, that is the worst! There are a fair number of people subscribed to comments on several of my posts… I always feel bad for them and slightly embarrassed because my replies probably don’t need that much of an audience haha
January 26th, 2014 at 8:54 pm
Ha! Nah, it’s not that bad. I thought it was funny that it was that one! Best way to waste time at work, lol!
January 27th, 2014 at 1:34 am
Congratulations on joining the ranks of the Pressed. It sure beats a mammogram!
January 27th, 2014 at 6:30 am
Ha! For sure. Thank you.
March 2nd, 2014 at 7:16 pm
[…] Sit Down, Charlie Sheen, I’ll Take It From Here. […]