Husband: Don’t go outside, there’s a big copperhead on the porch.
Me: I’ve got a big stick.
Him: No wonder the house is such a mess.
Me: ?
Him: That’s a broom.
So there was this giant snake on our porch, and by giant I mean a normal-sized snake, but it was venomous and it crept right up behind the husband. We are a little freaked out, especially since we don’t know where it is now.
Then this morning some shit happened and I ended up having to walk down the dirt road to get home, about a mile or so, and somehow I ended up with a pen in my hand. No idea.
But I was a little lot nervous about the snake and of course bears and coyotes and stuff so I was glad I had the pen. Because I’d just write them a polite note and ask them not to kill me, please. Or give them an autograph right in the eyeball. I don’t know. But it made me feel a bit better.
Now I’m home safe and sound and I’ve got the doors locked so the snake can’t get in. Because we all know how well that works.
Respond to this lunacy here.