Pretty fucking low, it seems.
Before I had my third child I
was somewhat anal took housecleaning very seriously. After Thing 3 was born and I went back to working fulltime, I realized that either I was going to have to lower my standards or I was going to go insane.
But I’m an overachiever, so I did both.
Somewhere along the line, I signed up for emails from The Organised Housewife. Originally, I suppose I wanted to get these daily reminders to help me stay on top of shit. Now I use them to make me laugh. Like, ha-ha, motherfucker, no.
Everyday I get an email from them and they seem insanely helpful, if I cared anymore. But I am so far past caring that sometimes when I read an email that says, “pick one cabinet and organize it” I just want to go and throw all the things all around until there isn’t even a cabinet.
Yes. I believe I did mention that I’m also on the crazy train.
I’ve always been a list maker. When my husband worked fulltime and I stayed at home with the kids, I would make lists so that he could see what all I’d accomplished that day and he would know that even though I was still in the same 3 day old pajamas he left me in, I HAD BEEN DOING STUFF. Important stuff, like sanitizing the microwave. I’m not even totally sure where my microwave is located at this moment. My how things have changed.
Anyway, I still make lists, but instead of long lists of things I want to accomplish in a day, I make lists of things I’ve already done. Here are some sample lists from my ever-present notebook:
1. Get out of bed.
4. Feed cats.
5. Read internet.
6. Maybe do some laundry. Just wash.
7. Maybe dry the laundry you might’ve washed.
8. Throw clean laundry in a pile.
Notice the list doesn’t say “feed children.” Because even I remember that without writing it down. Because they constantly ask for food. All day, every day.
Here’s one titled “Things I am Currently Not Fucking Up”
1. Taking me time.
another list, titled “Things I am Currently Fucking Up”
1. Everything else.
I’ve been doing really good at writing things on my list that are easy, so I can look at my list at the end of the day and know that I’ve been productive. It’s really easy to be productive when you use this system. Shit, I may as well start my own email reminder.
“Good morning, fellow lazy asses. Today’s chore is to add a banana to your ice cream. Yes, I said a goddamned banana split. We CAN DO THIS!”
“Good morning, sweethearts. Today we’re all going to take a moment to remember how awesome we are. This moment will last approximately 2 hours and is otherwise known as a nap. Enjoy.”
I could really get into this. I’m like a damned guru. I will teach you ALL THE THINGS!
So, are you a list-maker? Is your house spotless or spotty? Would you call yourself organized? Does it bother you that organized is spelled with a Z and an S within this post?