Free Kitten

Suzanne
Suzanne

Twelve weeks old, all black, long-haired, female kitten. This kitten is perfect for people who have an aversion to window treatments or a distaste for shower curtains.

She is helpful in the kitchen, leaving no crumbs in the floor and she will even clear the table after dinner.

She is litter box trained and has regular bathroom habits; like clockwork, 5 seconds after the litter box is cleaned, she will refill it for you.

She trims plants to keep them at an acceptable and healthy height of approximately one inch above the dirt and fertilizes them frequently.

Suzanne chases bugs and other enemies and lets nothing get in the way of her goals. She is task oriented and very determined.

This kitten communicates well and often, both verbally and with use of handy retractable claws. She prefers to sleep the majority of the day so she can be on duty all night. She will let you know promptly if there is a problem needing your attention, such as an intruder (flying or crawling) or if one bite has been taken out of her food bowl.

Suzanne would be a credit to a household with children. She is a highly trained, attentive babysitter and can corral the tamest to the wildest of children, using different tactics. For more timid children, Suzanne will simply walk past them causing them to shriek in terror and run away. Mothers will know this is a highly desirable outcome. For children who are braver and/or not very intelligent, Suzanne will pretend to be a baby and will submit to stroller rides and rocking, to a point. Once she has them where she wants them, she will then leap from the baby carriage and run the children in circles until they collapse from exhaustion, trapped within the destruction they have created.

Suzanne the kitten would make a wonderful addition to any family who has adequate insurance coverage.

Responses

  1. Jess Lewis of mass destruction Avatar
    1. Steph Avatar

      hahahahaha

      Like

  2. Jana Avatar

    That kitty is still giving you trouble? They draw you in with their big kitten eyes and pathetic little mews — and then you get them home and they turn into little devils!

    Like

    1. Steph Avatar

      SO true. She has no manners whatsoever. She’s lucky she likes to sleep on my shoulders! It’s too adorable to stay mad.

      Like

  3. Michelle Avatar

    HAHAAH…I’ve been campaigning for a kitten (I WILL win this argument sooner or later) But hubs can never read this blog post.

    Like

    1. Steph Avatar

      I campaigned for a long time for this one and even made some shady deals that I’m not that proud of, and look where it got me.

      Like

  4. heylookawriterfellow Avatar

    Hm. A tempting offer, but Over My Dead Body.

    Like

    1. Steph Avatar

      Hahaha! She gets along well with rodents, if that helps.

      Like

  5. Connect-the-Cloths Avatar

    I’m rethinking my scheme to convince my allergic-to-cats boyfriend into an exotic shorthair. Yet, I heard they’re mellow? I’m hoping the breed a makes all of the difference… “/ lol

    ♥ | http://www.connect-the-cloths.com | xoxo
    http://blogspotter.co/connect-the-cloths/

    Like

  6. Me Avatar

    LOL – this sounds like one fun cat !!!!
    Have a great day !
    Me xox

    Like

    1. Steph Avatar

      She’s something else, that’s for sure. You too!

      Like

  7. AmberLynn Pappas Avatar

    I need this cat for my 3 1/2 year old lately. Boys are tough sometimes. Do you offer a rental program? Btw, I tried to hock your cat for you on my page too. I’m afraid you would be at a loss without her though…

    Like

    1. Steph Avatar

      Lol! Thanks! I’d probably have to pay someone to take her. But at this very moment my 5-year-old is hiding in her bedroom, so there’s that. I’d love to rent her out…but I’d probably need insurance for whatever she tears up. And she will tear shit up.

      Like

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